Ear Stretching - Long term cover ups

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Saturday September 6th, 2008 @ 9:35 AM

Filed under: Ear

Hey there

I have finally started the process of slowly stretching my ear. I am now up to an 8ga and have decided that for now I will limit how far I will ultimately go to a 4ga to give me good odds of it being reversable later.

The trouble is now that I have actually started, a 4ga looks tiny! So now I’m looking at another approach. I want to know how successful silicone skin coloured plugs, claw ended diamond plugs, etc… have been for most? I mean, what are some common problems people face in terms of how others judge them and any tips/tricks for avoiding these problems, whether that be through covering it up or whatever.

Any advice is muchly appreciated

Thanks

Michelle

Hi Michelle,

Common problems that people face in terms of how others judge them, is simply that, people will judge you. They’ll judge you based on what Body Modifications you have. They’ll judge you for the clothes you wear. They’ll judge you for the music you listen to. They’ll judge you on every single thing they could possibly judge you on. You cannot avoid peoples judgment, because for those who judge, there’s always something for them to judge on you.

One thing I learned early on, is coming to grips with that. That no matter what I do, someone will always judge me. So the best thing to do is just “suck it up” and either ignore the judgments or laugh it off due to their judgmental ignorance.

Now if you’re talking in regards to: “I don’t want to lose my job” type of judgment and you’re looking to be minimalistic in the jewelry you wear in your lobes. One hard part will be to find jewelry that is the EXACT color tone of your skin type. Some people have had success with the solid silicone plugs, and some no matter how hard they try, it will still be visible. I even know of some people who’ve obtained certain jewelry and with the use of makeup and a lot of time, have been able to somehow blend their skin color tone onto the jewelry,etc…

Ultimately though, and I don’t mean this in a harsh way, when it comes to other people judging you based on your physical appearance…You just need to suck it up and deal with it…The sooner people realize that, the sooner they won’t simply be bothered by people staring, or making rude/inappropriate comments,etc.

Heck I get stared/commented at DAILY for my scarification sleeve, my tattoos, and how I dress/look,etc. This even occured BEFORE I even started modifying my body, back when I used to experiment with my clothing (ie: fishnet shirts, polk-a-dot tights, tattered and torn army combat pants,etc,etc,etc)… The best thing to do is grow a thick skin and don’t let their ignorance phase you. The only people you should care about, in terms of their opinions are…Yourself (most important individual’s opinion is your own)…Then very close family and very close friends…And even then the best thing to do is take their comments/opinions and simply analyze them and compare and contrast them against your own. Then self-assess them all and see if any of them are correct/right (your opinions, and the others)…But ultimately you should just follow your gut instincts on your opinions and your opinions alone.

Also stretch ear lobes are becoming quite a norm these days, at least in pretty much every mid-sized town/city,etc. The concept of judging somebody harshly because they have stretched lobes is very outdated and circa many years ago, back when it wasn’t that common. Sure its not on every single person, but a large number of individuals have stretched lobes of some form or another.

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13 Responses to “Ear Stretching - Long term cover ups”

Warren,

Thanks so much for putting so much thought into the answer!

My concern is work and also my family. (I’m fortunate, I migrated, so they all live on the other side of the globe, I only see them once every 5 years, but remain close via e-mail, phone, etc…) They would NOT cope with my stretched ears.

I guess when it comes to making any permanent body modification, I try to think through what the outcome would be realistically. If I went home for a visit, how would I cover this up? Keeping in mind that they would NEVER suspect stretched ears and so things like those plugs with a clawed end might be enough to fool them.

It was good to be reminded how common its getting back home (USA), because here it is still relatively uncommon, especially in this small town.

Biggest thanks for your answer. And you are absolutely right, suckign it up might be the way to go. I have a rather large chest peice and so I have some good practice doing that anyway

Thanks
Michelle

Michelle on September 6th, 2008 at 5:33 pm

And Warren, I just realised you are in Australia (I’m in nz), not the united states. If it’s getting more acceptable there than thats good news for nz’s likely direction on the issue.

Thanks

Michelle on September 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pm

Polkadot tights? Oh Warren, you rebel!

Dimruthien on September 6th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

Dim: Back in those days, in my town, it was lmao

black and white polkadot tights, combat boots, tattered and torn combat army shorts.

i was never big on the stripped tights ;P

Warren on September 7th, 2008 at 12:47 am

warren, you weren’t raised in the tiny town from footloose perchance? jeeze i thought i had it bad in rural australia…

i hate to dump on your answer… but you paint the picture of someone who’s spent a lifetime trying to challenge others with your appearance, and all power to you. it sounds like OP currently has no “major” visible mods and this one decision to permanent stretch her lobes could represent an unintentional crossing of the fence from being “tastefully” to “heavily” modified in the eyes of society. it’s not really about being proud to be who she is if she it’s not something she’s yet become.

to be brutally honest, the situation is worse than even warren says. and yeah yeah it shouldn’t be, but that doesn’t change the reality for many people. i know some girls with beautiful stretched lobes (and few other mods) who all but conceal them day to day, just to be treated… not normal, but perhaps unremarkable. i presume if 4g is looking tiny you’re thinking somewhere from 1/2-1″ at least. be prepared for stares, insensitive comments from people who don’t even realize they’re being rude, old ladies regularly asking you why you did that to your pretty face, snickers from children and adults alike who think you look like those people from that nat geo mag they found in the toilet when the ads were on, etc etc etc.

you can invest any amount of effort into hiding the things, but it’ll be soul crushing to do so, and they won’t look any smaller, just slightly more subtle. i’ve never seen someone under 70 with an unstretched earlobe even close to an inch…

yes, stretched lobes are becoming more common, but let’s face it, if it was 1% of the population i’d be surprised. almost 10% of the population is queer if that helps put questions into perspective about the way the majority can treat significant minorities.

michelle, if you want your ears stretched larger because that’s what *you* want to look like, please go for it. if you have concerns about the permanency, take it slow and find someone ahead of time who knows about earlobe reconstruction. if you don’t have long hair, grow it - it may be useful if things don’t turn out like you expect. but short of wearing your hair over your ears or a beanie… you can make them subtle but as long as your ears are visible so will be your piercings.

but i don’t know you. you could live a life surrounded by extremely tolerant open minded individuals and have no concerns about employability based on superficial attributes. if there are people you know who kind of live in the same “world” as you with stretched lobes, ask them about their experiences, and in particular how they differ from the usual junk one is asked about facial piercings.

you are indeed considering crossing a line that’s expensive and messy to undo. good luck making the right choice - you’ve still got a few gauge sizes left before you decide whether to stop before it becomes (semi-)permanent!

yours sincerely disgruntled with the world,

redeye on September 7th, 2008 at 7:53 am

redeye: I WISH I was raised in that tiny town that was in Footloose because then I could have kicked Kevin Bacon’s ass and danced circles around him….Those who know me personally, know I can certainly cut a rug

also I’d point out that Australians and how they view things and other people, especially if you’re from rural land, is quite different to the rest of the world…Hell even in the big cities, life is just….”different”….I can’t really explain it, it just is what it is.

and realistically my fashion sense, choices to look the way I do,etc has not been a result of “challenging” people…I wore what I wore…I looked the way I looked and modded the way I modded, for myself and myself alone…I simply just did not pay any single mind to anyone who decided to stare, make inappropriate comments, prejudge me,etc….Because I knew, right down to the very core, that they will NEVER in a million years “get me”…and I’m fine with that.

Less caring about what others thing…More caring about what you think about yourself.

Warren on September 7th, 2008 at 8:58 am

Redeye,

I sincerely appreciate you giving me your perspective!

i think there is a lot to be said in favour of taking body modifications seriously and thoroughly considering their ramifications. I mean, *I* may love my mods, but some of them have made different elements in my life very difficult. I have a tattoo on my wrist, which although I passionately love, has made job hunting interesting because it’s too big to cover up with a watch. I managed to get a job at out of school care and recreation programme and although it was never directly commented on, they were certainly unimpressed once they noticed So covering it up involved hideous amounts of makeup and ridiculously and uncomfortably large bracelets that I never would have chosen to wear otherwise. Nevertheless, one slip of the bracelet and I had dirty look from some parents. (though, thankfully, *not* from the majority!) I almost feel like this tattoo was almost *meant* to be there, it fits me so perfectly, but I grew to hate it because it made life so difficult. I’m a student now, so for the time being, I’m free to enjoy my mods openly, but I have to admit I wonder what my future will hold in terms of how this will beviewed in future situations. (I applied to be on the Academic board for my school, what will that do to my chances, for example?)

So I guess what I’m saying is that I think it’s important to consider what someone like redeye has to say before deciding for or against “sucking it up”, you know? Personally, I think I’ll end up doing what I want and sucking it up. But at least I’ll know ahead of time what I’m getting myself into and what options I have for minimising that.

Thanks guys
Michelle

Michelle on September 7th, 2008 at 4:04 pm

And when you think about it - it does seem rather ridiculous that I might get trouble for having a larger size hole than everyone else. I mean, my goodness - the difference between me and someone who has kept their peircing size hole is minimal. Both involved shoving a needle through an otherwise healthy ear. I just slowly put bigger jewellery in mine. It seems so completely silly.

I mean, I always find it ridiculous when other people get worried about someone elses modification. But at least with something like tattooing, or amputating, its going through a process that is imagined (whether this is truthful or not) as being brutally painful and medically unneccesary. So the difference between those who do it and the majority who don’t is somewhat tangible. But when talking about *stretching an ear* we are not talking about those kinds of differences. Because their virtually isn’t any! So i find it MUCH harder to understand the stigma.

Michelle on September 7th, 2008 at 5:46 pm

And one last thing and I swear I’ll shut up (for now). The same would apply to other forms of peircing. You put a needle in your ear. I put one in my tongue, for example. There is simply no significant difference. In fact, using the tongue example - its less visible and I don’t know how you guys felt, but give me a tongue peircing over an ear peircing ANY DAY in terms of pain.

Michelle on September 7th, 2008 at 5:50 pm

i hear what you’re putting down Michelle lol

and i WISH my tongue piercings didn’t hurt, alas they did…and I would rather go through my ears being scalpelled and re-directed and all the other things I’ve done to my body…then have my tongue pierced again lmao

Warren Hiller on September 7th, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Michelle: when I replied to you initially, your comments hadn’t been approved yet. Since you already have a large chest piece I presume you know what you’re getting yourself into, so, well, go for it Also, check out Dermablend for hiding tatts if you’re finding yourself going through excessive amounts of regular concealer..!

Warren: I’ve long ago moved to the “big smoke”… and you’re right, Brisbane is like the world’s biggest country town. Standing out generally doesn’t get you far round these parts… and as untrue to yourself as it may seem, sometimes there’s a lot to be said for the path of least resistance. Most facial/ear piercings look silly on me anyway, and I won’t be getting any visible tats or scars any time soon.

redeye on September 8th, 2008 at 2:31 am

Everyone always says I’m crazy for not finding a tongue peircing brutal. But it was quite a weird feeling. Uncomfortable, but you know not painful as such.

When I went back to have a second barbell put in my tongue - the wanker who peirced me did it at an angle and through heavy scar tissue. I had serious problems. It came out after day 3, which did not prevent infection. I finally learned to talk properly again and my scar tissue from it drives me nuts.

But I still prefer that to an ear peircing. I find them intensely sore. Dunno why?

Michelle on September 8th, 2008 at 10:06 am

I think plugs are more likely to pass as “regular” earrings under a cursory glance. It’s people with enormous eyelets where you can see through their lobes that look freaky =)

Xenobiologista on October 17th, 2008 at 9:42 pm

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Warren,

Thanks so much for putting so much thought into the answer!

My concern is work and also my family. (I’m fortunate, I migrated, so they all live on the other side of the globe, I only see them once every 5 years, but remain close via e-mail, phone, etc…) They would NOT cope with my stretched ears.

I guess when it comes to making any permanent body modification, I try to think through what the outcome would be realistically. If I went home for a visit, how would I cover this up? Keeping in mind that they would NEVER suspect stretched ears and so things like those plugs with a clawed end might be enough to fool them.

It was good to be reminded how common its getting back home (USA), because here it is still relatively uncommon, especially in this small town.

Biggest thanks for your answer. And you are absolutely right, suckign it up might be the way to go. I have a rather large chest peice and so I have some good practice doing that anyway

Thanks
Michelle
Michelle on September 6th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
And Warren, I just realised you are in Australia (I’m in nz), not the united states. If it’s getting more acceptable there than thats good news for nz’s likely direction on the issue.

Thanks
Michelle on September 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Polkadot tights? Oh Warren, you rebel!
Dimruthien on September 6th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Dim: Back in those days, in my town, it was lmao

black and white polkadot tights, combat boots, tattered and torn combat army shorts.

i was never big on the stripped tights ;P
Warren on September 7th, 2008 at 12:47 am
warren, you weren’t raised in the tiny town from footloose perchance? jeeze i thought i had it bad in rural australia…

i hate to dump on your answer… but you paint the picture of someone who’s spent a lifetime trying to challenge others with your appearance, and all power to you. it sounds like OP currently has no “major” visible mods and this one decision to permanent stretch her lobes could represent an unintentional crossing of the fence from being “tastefully” to “heavily” modified in the eyes of society. it’s not really about being proud to be who she is if she it’s not something she’s yet become.

to be brutally honest, the situation is worse than even warren says. and yeah yeah it shouldn’t be, but that doesn’t change the reality for many people. i know some girls with beautiful stretched lobes (and few other mods) who all but conceal them day to day, just to be treated… not normal, but perhaps unremarkable. i presume if 4g is looking tiny you’re thinking somewhere from 1/2-1″ at least. be prepared for stares, insensitive comments from people who don’t even realize they’re being rude, old ladies regularly asking you why you did that to your pretty face, snickers from children and adults alike who think you look like those people from that nat geo mag they found in the toilet when the ads were on, etc etc etc.

you can invest any amount of effort into hiding the things, but it’ll be soul crushing to do so, and they won’t look any smaller, just slightly more subtle. i’ve never seen someone under 70 with an unstretched earlobe even close to an inch…

yes, stretched lobes are becoming more common, but let’s face it, if it was 1% of the population i’d be surprised. almost 10% of the population is queer if that helps put questions into perspective about the way the majority can treat significant minorities.

michelle, if you want your ears stretched larger because that’s what *you* want to look like, please go for it. if you have concerns about the permanency, take it slow and find someone ahead of time who knows about earlobe reconstruction. if you don’t have long hair, grow it - it may be useful if things don’t turn out like you expect. but short of wearing your hair over your ears or a beanie… you can make them subtle but as long as your ears are visible so will be your piercings.

but i don’t know you. you could live a life surrounded by extremely tolerant open minded individuals and have no concerns about employability based on superficial attributes. if there are people you know who kind of live in the same “world” as you with stretched lobes, ask them about their experiences, and in particular how they differ from the usual junk one is asked about facial piercings.

you are indeed considering crossing a line that’s expensive and messy to undo. good luck making the right choice - you’ve still got a few gauge sizes left before you decide whether to stop before it becomes (semi-)permanent!

yours sincerely disgruntled with the world,
redeye on September 7th, 2008 at 7:53 am
redeye: I WISH I was raised in that tiny town that was in Footloose because then I could have kicked Kevin Bacon’s ass and danced circles around him….Those who know me personally, know I can certainly cut a rug

also I’d point out that Australians and how they view things and other people, especially if you’re from rural land, is quite different to the rest of the world…Hell even in the big cities, life is just….”different”….I can’t really explain it, it just is what it is.

and realistically my fashion sense, choices to look the way I do,etc has not been a result of “challenging” people…I wore what I wore…I looked the way I looked and modded the way I modded, for myself and myself alone…I simply just did not pay any single mind to anyone who decided to stare, make inappropriate comments, prejudge me,etc….Because I knew, right down to the very core, that they will NEVER in a million years “get me”…and I’m fine with that.

Less caring about what others thing…More caring about what you think about yourself.
Warren on September 7th, 2008 at 8:58 am
Redeye,

I sincerely appreciate you giving me your perspective!

i think there is a lot to be said in favour of taking body modifications seriously and thoroughly considering their ramifications. I mean, *I* may love my mods, but some of them have made different elements in my life very difficult. I have a tattoo on my wrist, which although I passionately love, has made job hunting interesting because it’s too big to cover up with a watch. I managed to get a job at out of school care and recreation programme and although it was never directly commented on, they were certainly unimpressed once they noticed So covering it up involved hideous amounts of makeup and ridiculously and uncomfortably large bracelets that I never would have chosen to wear otherwise. Nevertheless, one slip of the bracelet and I had dirty look from some parents. (though, thankfully, *not* from the majority!) I almost feel like this tattoo was almost *meant* to be there, it fits me so perfectly, but I grew to hate it because it made life so difficult. I’m a student now, so for the time being, I’m free to enjoy my mods openly, but I have to admit I wonder what my future will hold in terms of how this will beviewed in future situations. (I applied to be on the Academic board for my school, what will that do to my chances, for example?)

So I guess what I’m saying is that I think it’s important to consider what someone like redeye has to say before deciding for or against “sucking it up”, you know? Personally, I think I’ll end up doing what I want and sucking it up. But at least I’ll know ahead of time what I’m getting myself into and what options I have for minimising that.

Thanks guys
Michelle
Michelle on September 7th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
And when you think about it - it does seem rather ridiculous that I might get trouble for having a larger size hole than everyone else. I mean, my goodness - the difference between me and someone who has kept their peircing size hole is minimal. Both involved shoving a needle through an otherwise healthy ear. I just slowly put bigger jewellery in mine. It seems so completely silly.

I mean, I always find it ridiculous when other people get worried about someone elses modification. But at least with something like tattooing, or amputating, its going through a process that is imagined (whether this is truthful or not) as being brutally painful and medically unneccesary. So the difference between those who do it and the majority who don’t is somewhat tangible. But when talking about *stretching an ear* we are not talking about those kinds of differences. Because their virtually isn’t any! So i find it MUCH harder to understand the stigma.
Michelle on September 7th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
And one last thing and I swear I’ll shut up (for now). The same would apply to other forms of peircing. You put a needle in your ear. I put one in my tongue, for example. There is simply no significant difference. In fact, using the tongue example - its less visible and I don’t know how you guys felt, but give me a tongue peircing over an ear peircing ANY DAY in terms of pain.
Michelle on September 7th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
i hear what you’re putting down Michelle lol

and i WISH my tongue piercings didn’t hurt, alas they did…and I would rather go through my ears being scalpelled and re-directed and all the other things I’ve done to my body…then have my tongue pierced again lmao
Warren Hiller on September 7th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Michelle: when I replied to you initially, your comments hadn’t been approved yet. Since you already have a large chest piece I presume you know what you’re getting yourself into, so, well, go for it Also, check out Dermablend for hiding tatts if you’re finding yourself going through excessive amounts of regular concealer..!

Warren: I’ve long ago moved to the “big smoke”… and you’re right, Brisbane is like the world’s biggest country town. Standing out generally doesn’t get you far round these parts… and as untrue to yourself as it may seem, sometimes there’s a lot to be said for the path of least resistance. Most facial/ear piercings look silly on me anyway, and I won’t be getting any visible tats or scars any time soon.
redeye on September 8th, 2008 at 2:31 am
Everyone always says I’m crazy for not finding a tongue peircing brutal. But it was quite a weird feeling. Uncomfortable, but you know not painful as such.

When I went back to have a second barbell put in my tongue - the wanker who peirced me did it at an angle and through heavy scar tissue. I had serious problems. It came out after day 3, which did not prevent infection. I finally learned to talk properly again and my scar tissue from it drives me nuts.

But I still prefer that to an ear peircing. I find them intensely sore. Dunno why?
Michelle on September 8th, 2008 at 10:06 am
I think plugs are more likely to pass as “regular” earrings under a cursory glance. It’s people with enormous eyelets where you can see through their lobes that look freaky =)
Xenobiologista on October 17th, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Ear Stretching - Long term cover ups

«« tragus piercing Studio Listing »»

Saturday September 6th, 2008 @ 9:35 AM

Filed under: Ear

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